


When The Going Gets Tough, The Tough Get Going

by wordyanansi



Series: Tumblr Prompts [12]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Female Friendship, Friends to Lovers, Jealousy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-15
Updated: 2015-12-15
Packaged: 2018-05-06 21:46:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5431940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wordyanansi/pseuds/wordyanansi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bellamy Blake gets a girlfriend on a Wednesday. </p><p>And really, it’s not like Clarke didn’t figure that he’d get one eventually. He’s a catch. He’s tall, dark, and handsome. He loves his friends like family, better than family. And he’s clever, and honest, and just great. It’s not like she didn’t know she was in love with him either, it’s just that… she’d screwed that up long ago, her chance with with him</p>
            </blockquote>





	When The Going Gets Tough, The Tough Get Going

**Author's Note:**

> This one is from an anonymous tumblr prompt.

Bellamy Blake gets a girlfriend on a Wednesday.

 

And really, it’s not like Clarke didn’t figure that he’d get one eventually. He’s a catch. He’s tall, dark, and handsome. He loves his friends like family, better than family. And he’s clever, and honest, and just great. It’s not like she didn’t know she was in love with him either, it’s just that… she’d screwed that up long ago, her chance with with him. But when the dust settled, they’d still been Bellamy and Clarke, Clarke and Bellamy, and they were… something. More than friends less than lovers. And it galls her that he didn’t tell her he was even interested in the girl, let alone that she found out the information from Lincoln, who’d heard it from Octavia. Third hand. And to be fair, she did live with Lincoln, and that was how she got most of her news about the group. But. Still.

 

“Did you know that Bellamy’s on a date right now?” Lincoln asks when Clarke gets home. She stares at him blankly for a moment, because, honestly, the words sound like a foreign language. She swallows thickly, dropping her bag by the door and kicking off her shoes.

“Uh, no, I did not,” she replies, trying to sound normal. “Anyone we know?” They'd literally had lunch earlier that day and he hadn't said a word.

“Someone from his office, I think,” Lincoln says. “Echo something. Or something Echo. Octavia was being a Blake about it.” Clarke snorts out a laugh, because of course she was. But still.

“Well, she’s a lucky girl. And if she breaks his heart we’ll break her face,” Clarke says, sitting beside Lincoln as he channel hopped. He looked at her strangely.

“You broke his heart,” Lincoln says. And Clarke’s a little speechless because she hadn’t known that he’d /known/. He’d joined the group while she was gone, and then she was back and he was dating Octavia and… well. She should have known Octavia would have said something.

“It was just a moment,” Clarke says, because she doesn’t have anything else to say. Even though she knows it wasn’t true. “I’m sure they were just being Blakes about it.”

“No,” Lincoln tells her in his quiet serious way. “He came alive when you came back.” Clarke stares at the television.

“So did I,” she says quietly. Because it’s the truth. Lincoln doesn’t say anything after that, but he’s never been a big talker.

 

-

 

When Clarke tells the story in her head (because she never says it aloud), she emphasises the part where they weren’t dating. They weren’t, strictly speaking, “together”. But they were together, almost always, and in the ways that really mattered. They were _almost_ , Clarke justifies, not a question mark but not quite a period either. They’d met in a flurry of arguing and tension, that over a couple of years had fallen away into something like… And then, just when they were on the precipice… Clarke left. Not without reason, not just a panicked flight at something becoming something else. But because she wasn’t sure who she was anymore, what she really wanted, where her ethical line was.

 

“I’m leaving,” Clarke said, standing in the hallway outside his apartment. The look of wounded shock on her face broke her heart, but she just swallowed it down and shook her head. “I can’t… I can’t stay.”

“Clarke, just… please, come inside, and we’ll talk about this,” he’d asked, pleaded, really. God, the look on his face.

“I should have stopped them, Bell. I should have… the second I found out I should have been on the phone to the FDA,” Clarke says. “And I didn’t. I just… I trusted them, people who were conducting unapproved human trials.” Bellamy shifted on his feet, his hand twitching like he wanted to reach out to her.

“We can get through this together. You did what you thought was right,” Bellamy tries, but she shakes her head.

“No, what I should have done was more, and I didn’t. I might have stopped the trial, but not in time to save someone’s life. Someone died because I hesitated, because I trusted the wrong people, and I can’t… I can’t be here while this is all happening. I can’t… I can’t see it every day,” Clarke tries to explain, trying not to cry. Her car is packed, downstairs, and she knows how unfair this is on him, she does. But she can’t be here, in this town, for a while at least.

“I’ll come with you,” he offers, his voice quiet, but she knows it’s not what she wants. He’s got a life here, and Octavia. There’s a stupid selfish part of her that wants him to come, and they’ll fall off the edge they’ve been dancing on and be in love and drive through the country. But it wouldn’t be like that either, because she needs some time to put herself back together.

“You’re needed here,” Clarke says, softly. Bellamy’s frowning, and she can see how torn he is, but she doesn’t know what she can say to make it better. She’d give anything to make all of this better.

“Are you… you’re coming back. Right?” Bellamy says, and he’s never sounded more unsure or hopeful in the time she’s known him.

“I don’t know,” she replies, because it’s true, and she won’t lie to him. Not now. He licks his lips.

“I’ll call you,” he offers. “Every day. Because you’re not alone, Clarke, we’re all right here for you.” She shakes her head again.

“I need time, Bellamy. Figure some shit out. Recover from this. I’ll…,” she trails off, losing words, and then sighs. “I can’t be here right now. I’m sorry.” Then she steps into him, pressing up on her toes, looping her arms around his neck and holding him to her. She breathes in his scent and tries really freaking hard not to cry, and kisses his cheek. His arms lock around her waist and hold her against him, his face buried in his shoulder, and she doesn’t want to go. She wants to live in this moment instead. But she knows she won’t put herself back together properly if she’s here. She’ll let him fill in the things she can’t, and they both deserve better than that. When the hug is over she offers him a sad smile.

“Bye, Bell,” she says.

“When are you going?” he asks. “The gang will want to say goodbye…” But he reads her like an open book. “Now,” he finishes. “You’re going now.”

“May we meet again, Bellamy Blake,” Clarke says, and then she turns on her heel and walks away. She swears she can hear him say the words back to her, but she doesn’t turn around to make sure, just keeps walking.

 

-

 

Things don’t change like they might have if it was someone other than Bellamy who got a girlfriend. There’s still Monday Family Night, which is borderline compulsory and involves Bellamy cooking way too much food and caring about the boys eating their vegetables, and Clarke faux mothering them, and the girls drinking and shit talking. There’s still monthly game night. They still hang out and go to the movies, and Clarke and Bellamy still have lunch on Wednesdays together, just them. But it’s different. Echo sits beside Bellamy and smiles like a predator and watches Clarke like a hawk. He stops calling her ‘princess’. It’s worse because Echo fits in. She keeps up with Raven and Octavia easily, laughing and shit talking. She elbows Jasper when he goes on a rant, and she teases Monty gently about how smart he is. In some ways, she fits in better than Clarke does, especially since she came back.

 

But it’s the second Monday that Echo’s joined them that Clarke wonders if she made the right decision, coming back. Octavia comes home with Lincoln and Clarke, and before they disappear into the bedroom, she glares at Clarke.

“You better not fuck this up for him,” Octavia instructs. “It’s been a long time since he’s been this happy.” Clarke blinks.

“I don’t plan on it,” she says, kind of off guard. “She seems nice, and everyone likes her.”

“Yeah, but you and Bellamy are you and Bellamy,” Octavia replies. “And you broke his heart when you left and I’m not going to forgive if you do it a second time.” Clarke frowns.

“If I leave?” she asks, because honestly, it’s crossed her mind. Not even because of this. It’s just… she loves medical research, but she needs to stop being involved in drug development and trials because she still feels sick to her stomach every time she thinks the girl who died, and her face flashes in front of the face of every participant Clarke treats. And, well, she’s thinking about getting involved in biomedical prosthetics with neurological impulses, and it’s not exactly a common field.

“No,” Octavia replies. “If you fuck this up for him with Echo and it breaks him again.” Clarke shakes her head and offers a smile.

“I want him to be happy, Octavia. He’s… he’s important to me, and I want him to be happy. And Echo makes him happy,” Clarke says with a shrug. Octavia gives her one last glare before she nods, content.

“Glad we cleared that up,” Octavia says before disappearing into Lincoln’s room. He offers a small smile before he follows her and mouths the word ‘Blakes’, and she smiles back. She really does want Bellamy to be happy, but it’s killing her to see him be happy not with her.

  
  
  


“So, what do you think of Echo?” Bellamy asks, all faux nonchalance, at their lunch on Wednesday. Clarke rolls her eyes and smiles at him over her glass of water.

“That was super casual, Blake. Very subtle,” Clarke tells him, and he rolls his eyes at her.

“Seriously though. You’re my… you’re important,” Bellamy says. Clarke wonders if he was going to say ‘best friend’, like she always goes to, but swallows the words down since she left and came back. “Your opinion counts.” Clarke shakes her head.

“If you’re happy, I’m happy,” Clarke tells him. “She seems nice enough.” Bellamy raises his eyebrows.

“And that reeked of the famous Griffin honesty,” he says sarcastically. “Come on, be honest, you know you want to.” Clarke laughs a little, because it’s true, she does want to be honest. She wants to tell him she’s sorry and she loves him and she misses the way it felt to be curled up against him watching Netflix. But she doesn’t want to be honest about how she feels about Echo.

“I don’t know her well enough to be honest. And until then, I’m Switzerland. Or Team Bellamy, or whatever. Basically it’s your life and your call, and if you’re happy then… I’m happy too,” Clarke says with a shrug. Bellamy hums and takes a bite of his burger, and Clarke picks at a fry.

“It’s… nice,” Bellamy says after a while. Clarke looks up, not sure where he’s going with this one. “With Echo,” he explains. “It’s easy and nice.” Clarke bites her lip and tries to swallow down the words. Bellamy sighs, putting down his burger.

“Just say it, Clarke,” he says on the exhale. Clarke shrugs.

“Nothing. Seriously. Sounds like you’ve met The One,” she teases. She really does mean it as teasing, mostly. But he looks at her like he hasn’t looked at her since the day she came back, or the day she left, all raw and honest, and it cuts through her like a knife.

“I tried passionate and all consuming but it didn’t work out so well for me,” Bellamy replies, almost dryly, like it didn’t matter, like it’s a story from long ago, not a mere six months, and not like it didn’t kill Clarke as well. But it’s also the first time she’s heard him say that, and it catches in her throat. She takes another drink of water.

“Nice and easy is safer,” Clarke agrees. “Sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.” Bellamy shrugs and goes back to his burger.

“I’m kind of liking playing it safe in my old age,” Bellamy says, with a mild grin, and Clarke laughs.

“So old,” she agrees. “How was it having a pet dinosaur?” He throws a fry at her and it’s like it never happened.

  
  


 

“So, are you okay?” Raven asks. Clarke had dropped into the lab Raven called an office to check out the new brace she was working on. She’d always need one, after the accident, but it kind of got her excited to work on developing better assistive technology. Which was part of the reason Clarke was so interested in it too. Clarke gives her a look.

“I’m fine. Are you okay?” Clarke asks. Raven sighs dramatically.

“About Blake, idiot,” Raven elaborates. Clarke turns away and picks up a mock up of one of the older braces that Raven had designed, this one for ankle use.

“Yeah. He seems happy. That’s what counts, right?” Clarke says idly. Raven makes a disgusted noise.

“You’re an idiot. But so is he. And if he’s moving on, maybe you should too,” Raven says, and when Clarke turns back around, she’s already gone back to marking stuff on a spec sheet that someone had delivered to her earlier. Clarke kind of wants to offer the same advice back. But Finn had died while moving on, and it was different for her, her whole life had him in it until now. But then, Clarke seemed to orbit Bellamy like he was the sun, and she’d been doing it for five years. And, worst of all, he’d moved on with her, and it didn’t matter that it wasn’t reciprocated. And she’d fucked it up with Bellamy all on her own.

“How are you going with trying to integrate robotics into your braces?” Clarke asks instead. And Raven groans.

“It would work better if my biomed engineer wasn’t an arrogant prick who actually listened,” Raven says. “But really, we just need better information from the Vancouver lab. They do all the testing, and they really need another doctor or two up there for med research. Preferably one with any engineering experience.” It gives Clarke an idea, but she leans over Raven’s shoulder and points to the brace spec she’s marking up.

“The bulk sits too low there. There’s a major nerve cluster about two centimetres up,” Clarke points out. “If you have it resting there, the muscles will respond more distinctively.” Raven stares at the spec for a moment.

“Huh,” Raven says. “Alright, now get out. I need to yell at some people.” Clarke rolls her eyes.

“Bye Raven. See you tonight at laser tag,” Clarke calls over her shoulder.

“Fucking Jasper,” Raven replies, because of course for his turn at choosing the monthly game night, he’d picked laser tag.

  
  


There’s a part of Clarke that doesn’t think it’s real. Bellamy and Echo. That it’s a passing phase. A fling. She doesn’t like admitting it to herself, and for all when she’d met Bellamy, he’d been a bit like that… it wasn’t who he really was, and it wasn’t who he was now. And then she sees them, making out, whispering to each other, smiles on their faces, hiding in a corner at laser tag. And Clarke _knows_. If it was anyone else, she would have shot them and laughed and made a joke about all being fair in love and war. If it were anyone else, Bellamy would probably have been on her team and they’d have been tearing shit up side by side. If it were anyone else… Clarke wouldn’t feel the empty pit in her stomach. She keeps up the facade well enough until the night is over, and then she goes home, pours a glass of wine, and starts applying for the jobs she dreamed about… but that were too far away from her family, her home. It wasn’t like the last time, when she’d run because she’d felt guilty and responsible and couldn’t handle what she’d done and who she’d become. It was… she couldn’t watch Bellamy be happy with another woman and she hated herself for it. But this time she’d stay in touch, and maybe even visit on special occasions. It would be better this time, normal. And people would forgive her and she wouldn’t lose them, or herself. It’d be okay this time.

  
  
  


Lincoln moves out the same week that Clarke gets an interview in Vancouver. She finds it’s easier not to tell anyone, and she doesn’t want to have to explain. It’s only four days, after all. Thursday to Sunday. She has lunch with Bellamy on Wednesday, and pretends everything is fine. They talk about work and Octavia and Lincoln beginning their cohabitation. It cuts at her, though, because when he starts going all Blake and big brother, Clarke teases him, saying that she’s an adult and he could learn to let it go a little. He gives her a strange look, and tells her Echo said the same thing. So she packs a bag, tells no one, and gets on a plane to Vancouver. Because Bellamy deserved to be happy, and if she broke his heart again, Octavia wasn’t the only one who wouldn’t forgive her. And they’d been together for a month now, Bellamy and Echo, and she fit against his side and smiled at him like he was the sun, and he looked like… he looked _content_ , and at peace. Clarke loved him and she wasn’t about to fuck it up for him because she couldn’t get her shit together.

  
  


Vancouver is… nice. And it’s peaceful. The air seems cleaner, and she loves the way she can almost feel the ocean everywhere she goes. She loves the way the mountains are always in the backdrop of the scenery. The city seems nice. And the lab was amazing. It’s exactly what she’s been thinking about doing, biomechatronics; linking robotics, biology, and neuroscience. It’s definitely on the cutting edge, and it excites Clarke, and she knows they can see it in her face. Everyone is… nice. It’s not hard to be in Vancouver, even if it’s a little bland… but it’s nice. Everyone is nice. The place is nice. The galleries are nice. The apartment she’d be living in was nice. And she didn’t see Bellamy on every street corner, and feel the pull in her stomach that he is happier without her, and would be better off if she’d just never come back. It seems more real, suddenly. Moving to Vancouver. This is a thing that’s actually happening. She could live here, she thinks. The interview goes well, like she knew it would. And she thinks this could be a fresh start. This could be the place that she lives, where she works, where she gets to fall in love and it not be a fractious mess. The place where she doesn’t see Bellamy Blake and his new girlfriend in every coffee shop and on every street corner. They offer her the job on Saturday evening at dinner, and give her a week to make up her mind. It’s hard not to jump at the chance to just say yes, to grab a fresh start, and pretend like she’s not leaving anything behind. But she is.

  
  


She’s going to have to tell the family, and she wants to do it before she accepts the job. Monty’s going to look at her like she’s running again, but she’s not. It’s an amazing opportunity. She’d be doing medical research on the cutting edge. This is her dream job. She’s not running away, she’s running toward an amazing future. And if she keeps telling herself that, maybe she’ll believe it too.

  
  
  


Clarke honestly expected that no one would notice she was gone. Four days. Less, really. But Bellamy’s sitting on the floor in the hallway outside her apartment, and it’s really clear she was wrong. He’s reading “Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes”, and he’s got a pile of books beside him, a box of crackers, and a bottle of water. She stares at him, stupidly, when she reaches the landing, overnight bag slung over her shoulder, and he looks up at her, raw, just for a moment before his eyes shutter back to normal.

“Hi,” Clarke says, because she’s really not sure what else to say. “Are you okay?” Because, really, he’s camped out in the hallway of her apartment building. He gives her a look of disbelief as he stands up.

“Am I okay? Where the fuck have you been, Clarke?” Bellamy demands. “Why weren’t you answering your phone?” She blinks at the mood swings.

“Yes, are you okay? You’re camped out in the hallway. It’s kind of weird,” she responds, moving closer to him, well, to the door. This isn’t how she planned it, and she’s not really sure what this is, but it’s making her chest hurt, and she kind of just wants to go and hide inside and try to forget.

“I’m serious,” Bellamy says, catching her wrist with his hand, holding her in position, looking at her intently. “Where were you? I was… I thought… I thought you’d gone again.” He doesn’t add ‘and this time you didn’t even say goodbye’, but Clarke knows him like she knows herself, and she hears it, the hurt and betrayal. She swallows thickly and forces herself to remember that he doesn’t belong to her, and she doesn’t belong to him. Even though… even though she does, and they do, and they probably always will in some ways. Which is why it’s so important she gets a fresh start.

“I had a job interview. In Vancouver,” Clarke says, her voice even and soft. He lets go of her wrist like he’s been burned. “It was only four days, I didn’t think it was worth mentioning. Sorry.” Bellamy shakes his head.

“You left the country for four days and didn’t think to tell anyone? Jesus, Clarke, do you not get how worried we all were? Raven wanted to report you missing,” Bellamy accuses. Clarke sighs, because of course it’s not just him.

“Well if you’d done that, they would've have seen I’d just ducked over for a long weekend in Canada. It’s the same continent, it’s not like I flew to Australia and didn’t mention it,” she says, sarcastic, defense mechanism firmly in play. Bellamy studies her for a moment, trying to figure something out.

“You can be so fucking selfish sometimes, Clarke,” he tells her. Her whole body tenses, because she wants to tell him she’s doing this for him to do, so he can be happy. But she knows that’s not really the truth. She’s doing it for her, because she can’t watch him be happy with someone else, and if that’s not the most pathetic thing in the world, she doesn’t know what is. “But Vancouver?” The hostility has left his voice, but he sounds resigned. Clarke gives a small smile, and nods.

“Yeah,” she replies. “Vancouver. It’s… the job’s kind of amazing.” Bellamy smiles, but she can see his heart’s not in it.

“So you are leaving again,” Bellamy says, and she wants to pull him into a hug, but she can’t. She shakes her head.

“Not like before. I’m not… It’s… I’m not running away this time. I’m going toward something. And I’ll stay in touch. It’s only like two hours on a plane,” Clarke offers. Bellamy looks down at the floor, and Clarke swallows thickly.

“Well, you’re fine so… I’m going to go,” Bellamy says, and he bends down shove his books and crackers into a shopping bag. She feels so fond of him, in that moment, he’d been worried and he’d camped out and brought crackers.

“Do you want to come in?” Clarke asks. Bellamy shakes his head.

“No, I’d better go. Echo already thinks I’m crazy for being so worried,” he tells her, and all of a sudden it’s like her heart breaks all over again and the ease between them falls away.

“Right. Of course. Say hi for me,” Clarke manages, shoving her key into the lock. Bellamy walks toward the landing, and then he pauses, just as Clarke gets the door open.

“You’re really going again, aren’t you?” Bellamy asks. Clarke turns around, but he’s not looking at her.

“I think so,” Clarke says to the back of his head. “It’s an amazing opportunity.” A moment of silence drags out between them.

“And you don’t have any reason to stay here. Not when there are amazing opportunities,” Bellamy says, still not looking at her.

“I have reasons to stay. But… I also have reasons to go,” Clarke says softly. He doesn’t say anything else, just walks down the stairs, and Clarke enters her apartment and tries not to cry.

  
  


 

The message tree works quickly, and they must have all been worried about her and she’s pretty sure Bellamy sent a group text regarding her whereabouts. Or, he told Octavia, who told everyone. Because it’s barely been an hour and Jasper and Monty are knocking on her door. She stares at them blankly for a moment, she doesn’t think they’ve ever just arrived at her apartment unannounced, and certainly not since she’s been back.

“Vancouver is the worst,” Jasper informs her. “You can’t move to Vancouver.” She blinks, trying to process, and then stands aside to let them in.

“Would you like a drink?” she asks, fond and kind of confused. But of course they’re here.

“Water’s fine,” Monty says, “Which, incidentally, is not necessarily the case in Vancouver.”

“Mountain Dew if you have it,” Jasper says, which, she does have a bottle somewhere because she got addicted in college. “Which you should enjoy now, because it doesn’t have caffeine in Canada.” Clarke tries not to laugh as she gets their drinks, understanding the direction this conversation will take. She sits down opposite them, and presses her lips together, trying to cover her smile. It’s probably not working.

“Did you know that Vancouver is pretty much the most expensive place to live in the world? Like, if you aren’t filthy rich you won’t be able to afford to live there comfortably,” Jasper says. “The average wage in Vancouver is below liveable because of housing costs.”

“I’ve been offered a company subsidised apartment. It’s quite nice,” Clarke offers. Jasper frowns at her.

“How do you feel about rain?” Monty asks. Clarke shrugs.

“It’s not my favourite thing in the world,” she admits. “But it can be kind of nice.”

“Well it rains literally all the time in Vancouver,” Monty tells her. “Winter, Spring, Summer… rain all the time. Because of the sea being right there and for some weird barometric reasons that defy logic. It should be called the rainy city.” Clarke snorts a laugh.

“This is serious, Clarke,” Jasper scolds her. “Vancouver is the worst. Why are you moving to Vancouver?” Clarke smiles at them, because despite the tag team ranting, it’s nice to be loved.

“Because of the job,” Clarke admits. “It’s basically my dream job. And… I don’t know. I think I need a fresh start.” Monty frowns.

“So basically you’re just leaving us again,” he says, almost accusing. “Why this time? I mean, I understand why last time. But this time you don’t even have a good excuse.” Clarke sighs.

“It’s not about having an excuse, Monty. I’m not running. I’ll stay in touch, and you can come visit and I’ll visit you guys. It’s just… it’s not about you guys. It’s about what I want my career to look like. And being on the cutting edge of biomechatronics would be really cool.” The boys exchange a look.

“Yeah, I can see that,” Monty admits begrudgingly. “But… we just got you back.” Clarke smiles, soft.

“You’re not losing me this time. I promise,” she tells him.

“But you’re moving to Vancouver,” Jasper says. “So you’re still going away.” Clarke rolls her eyes.

“I honestly do not know how information spreads with you guys, because I haven’t formally accepted the job yet. I have a week to decide. And I didn’t just say yes because I wanted to talk to everyone first,” Clarke explains. “I had an interview, it went well, and now I’m making a decision.”

“So we still have time to change your mind,” Jasper infers. Clarke opens her mouth to speak, but Monty beats her to it.

“And we will. Because Vancouver is the worst,” Monty says, and they leave, talking about making a powerpoint presentation between themselves, and Clarke doesn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

  
  


 

The thing that surprises Clarke the most is that Raven’s the most pissed at her. She shows up at Clarke’s apartment close to midnight, a couple of drinks in her system and fury on her face.

“You didn’t even fucking tell me you were going away,” Raven rants when Clarke opens the door. Clarke’s not really sure what to say to that, because it’s been a long time since Raven’s been really angry at her.

“I’m sorry,” Clarke manages, stepping aside and letting Raven storm in, right leg thumping heavily, her body swinging like it does when she’s not in total control.

“That’s the thing though, isn’t it? Because you’re not sorry you did it, you’re sorry I’m pissed at you,” Raven says, collapsing on Clarke’s couch. Clarke’s breath catches in her chest and she feels like she’s going to cry, because of course Raven sees right through her.

“I didn’t mean to do it. It just… kind of happened,” Clarke confesses, sitting opposite the couch, folding in on herself. “It’s a great opportunity.” Raven glared at her.

“Don’t give me that shit, Clarke. You can pedal that to whoever you like but we both know you got the idea from me and you’re using it as an excuse. You wanted to get into biomechatronics, I could have gotten you in here. You’re a fucking coward and you’re running away again,” Raven snaps. “Do you have any more alcohol?” Clarke gets up and heads to the kitchen, grabbing a couple of ciders. She drops one in front of Raven, and opens hers, sitting back on her chair. Raven glares at her again.

“You’re not even going to pretend you’re not running, are you?” Raven says, and she sounds sad about it. Clarke sighs.

“Not to you,” she admits. “But it’s kind of an amazing opportunity.” Raven snorts, disgusted.

“This is about Bellamy, isn’t it? It’s killing you watching him be happy with someone else,” Raven accuses, and it’s in moments like these that Clarke feels like that for all Raven loves her, and for all they’re close… Finn lingers between them.

“I want to, Raven, I really do. I want him to be happy, and I want to not care that it’s not with me. But everything here is him and I’m going to fuck it up if I stay,” Clarke confesses. “And I’m not going like last time. I’ll still be on facebook and we’ll call and text and I’ll come back for holidays, and we’ll stay in touch.” Raven shakes her head, still disgusted.

“I don’t think you get it, Clarke. And I shouldn’t have to be the one to tell you that you and Bellamy are better when you’re in the same room. But fine. You want to go to Vancouver and research neural interfacing for prosthetics and assistive braces, I’m not going to complain. You’ll probably make my life better if you do. But just… do it for you, not because of Bellamy,” Raven says, leaning back on the couch.

“I want to make your life better. Kind of why I got interested to start with,” Clarke admits. Raven glares again, but it’s the glare she gives when someone makes her feel an emotion, and Clarke smiles.

“You better fucking stay in touch,” Raven tells her. “Or I’m hunting your white ass down.” Clarke snorts.

“Bellamy said you wanted to report me missing. Did you know he camped out in my hallway?” Clarke asked. Raven rolled her eyes.

“Of course I wanted to report you missing. You went missing for four days! But Bellamy told us to calm our shit and you wouldn’t have gone without telling _someone_. Of course he was camped out though, the nerd,” Raven says. “Echo must be the coolest girlfriend ever. I swear to god if my boyfriend camped outside some other bitch’s apartment for a weekend I’d kill him.” Clarke laughs a little.

“He said at lunch last week that she gets we’re all family to him. So I guess she figured it’s like he was worried about Octavia,” Clarke says. Raven snorts again.

“Echo is smarter than that,” Raven informs her. “And no one looks at their sister they way Bellamy Blake looks at you.” Clarke downed half her cider.

“Well, whatever. Jasper and Monty have told me that Vancouver’s the worst, and you’ve told me I could get a job here. I wonder what everyone else is going to come up with. There’s still six days before I decide,” Clarke says, almost absent. Raven leans back and closes her eyes.

“You’ve pretty much decided, Griffin,” Raven says, her voice trailing off as she falls asleep. “You’re just wanting for Bellamy to change your mind.” Clarke doesn’t say anything, and Raven’s properly asleep soon after. She drapes a blanket over her and hopes Raven doesn’t remember the conversation properly in the morning.

 

Raven is gone by the time Clarke gets up the next morning, and honestly, Clarke’s kind of happy about it. She doesn’t want to have a real conversation about what’s she’s doing, and she knows Raven’s probably the only one who’s going to figure it out. And probably the only one she can say the words out loud to. So she gets her stuff together and heads into work, not really sure what to say to them either, because all they know is she took a long weekend. But if she’s going to go… she figures she might as well tell them.

 

It’s awkward, because of course it is, and they understand why she’s considering it. She’s even offered a pay increase to stay, and it’s nice to know they like her so much… but her heart’s just not in human trials anymore, and she thinks they know it too. The project she’s been working on is shared with a couple of other people, and she takes Dr Jackson aside to make sure that she’s not leaving them in the lurch if she does go - taking information only she has with with her. But they’ve been working well together and everything is fine.

“Does your mother know?” Jackson asks, and Clarke winces, she always forgets that Jackson and her mother used to work together. And, of course, about Jackson’s little crush on her mother.

“No,” Clarke replies. “I’m not sure what to tell her. Or what I’m actually doing yet.” Jackson nods thoughtfully.

“She might have some advice,” he offers, casually. And Clarke’s not sure she ever wants to take advice from her mother on anything ever, but he does have a solid point. She’s a medical professional. And she’s her mother. But… it’s one of those things, since her father died, that Clarke just tells her news, doesn’t ask for advice. And maybe it’s better that way, so she decides to say nothing.

  
  


Lincoln is waiting for her after work. It’s not weird in and of itself - before he moved out, he used to walk from his work to hers and they’d carpool to family dinner. But it’s weird in that the look on his face isn’t as friendly as it usually is, and his arms are folded across his chest. He looks vaguely threatening, and if Clarke didn’t know him better, she’d probably have been scared.

“What were you thinking?” he asks when she gets close enough to hear him. “Seriously, Clarke. You can’t just run off like that. Octavia wanted to put a hit out on you.” Clarke snorts with laughter.

“Sounds like Octavia,” she agrees, unlocking the car. “I honestly didn’t think anyone would notice I was gone. It was only four days.” Lincoln shakes his head as he gets in beside her.

“You’re the dumbest smart person I know,” Lincoln says, and it’s not a new thing he’s saying to her, so she smiles and he shakes his head. “I’m serious. There was an emergency family meeting. Shit was real.” That Clarke didn’t know and she looks at him for a moment.

“It was just a job interview,” she tries to defend herself. “I don’t even know if I’m going to take it yet. But. Well. It’s just-.”

“A good way to run away again,” Lincoln cuts her off. She’s shocked at his bluntness, because he’s not normally quite so harsh.

“We’re family, Clarke. And you acted like that didn’t matter. Plus, you’re a flight risk. How long did you know you were going for? How hard would it have been to send a group text telling us you were getting on a plane?” Lincoln asks, and for the first time, Clarke does actually feel ashamed of her actions. Because it was a pity party she was throwing for herself, and she wasn’t thinking about how anyone else would feel about her going AWOL.

“I’ll apologise to everyone at dinner,” Clarke promises. “It was the wrong way to go about it.” Lincoln nods and then looks back at the road while Clarke drives. She feels vaguely ill.

 

Conversation ceases when she arrives, last as always, to family dinner. They all just kind of stare at her, and there’s a new look in Echo’s eye that makes her feel a little uncomfortable. And Bellamy can’t look at her, and is staring at the drink in his hand instead.

“I’m sorry,” she says, looking around at each of them. Octavia scowls at her. “I shouldn’t have just taken off. I didn’t think it through.”

“You never think it through. You just take off and leave us all wondering if you’re coming back,” Octavia snaps at her, and Lincoln moves to her, placing a placating hand on her shoulder. Clarke swallows.

“I just didn’t know if I’d get offered the job, or if I even really wanted it. And I figured it would be easier to let you guys know when I knew more,” Clarke explains, and it’s kind of true.

“So you’re going then,” Raven asks, and it’s a challenge. “Again,” she adds, in case the word wasn’t already echoing silently around the room. Clarke shrugs.

“I have to let them know on Saturday. It’s… it’d be a career changer. And it’s kind of awesome. But… I don’t know,” Clarke confesses. Because she wants to stay here, and everything to go back to the way it was pre-Echo, or even pre-her running away. But it can’t. And she doesn’t know what she wants.

“So we have until Saturday to convince you to stay?” Monty asks hopefully, and Clarke nods. “Awesome. Okay, so, clearly we didn’t convince you Vancouver was a shitty place to live so we need to convince you that here is awesome.”

“We have a plan,” Jasper agrees. “Here is awesome, and we’re awesome, and Vancouver’s got nothing on us.” Clarke laughs.

“You’re family,” Clarke agrees. “You’re all awesome. And I love you. But this decision might have to be one from the head, not the heart.” Bellamy looks up at her for a moment, meeting her eyes, and there’s something there she can’t read. She’s not used to not being able to read him.

“Well sit down,” Echo announces, trying to break the awkwardness. “I made lasagne!” But, it’s still kind of awkward, because Bellamy always cooked on family night, and she’s taking over. There are comments about how it looks great and thanking her, and Clarke ignores them, because everything’s changing and all it does is convince her that she’s going to kill herself if she stays here.

  
  


On Wednesday, Bellamy cancels lunch. And then he doesn’t. Clarke looks at the messages on her phone and wonders what’s going on. In the end, she replies that they don’t have to have lunch if he doesn’t want to, and he says they’re having lunch, and by the time she shows up to the diner, she’s got no clue what to expect. But Bellamy’s there, waiting, glaring at the table. She orders a coffee and slides into the booth opposite him.

“We literally had lunch the day before you left and you said nothing,” Bellamy accuses before he even says hello. His words hit her in the chest, but then she gets angry back.

“We literally had lunch the day you and Echo had your first date and you didn’t say anything. I had to hear it third hand from Lincoln,” Clarke shoots back.

“That was different,” Bellamy protests. “It was a first date. I didn’t know if it would be anything. And I didn’t want to have that conversation with you until I knew.”

“Those are the exact same reasons I didn’t tell you about Vancouver!” Clarke replies, adamant, she’s trying to keep her voice down to respectable for a public dining establishment, but it’s not going well.

“You broke my heart and I didn’t want to have to tell you I was trying to move on. You’re just running away again,” Bellamy bites back. Clarke doesn’t even really hear the words, anger fuelling her.

“Yeah, and I’m running away because it’s breaking my heart watching you with her. And it’s a good fucking opportunity,” Clarke hisses. “Does no one see how this could be huge for me? I’m not just running off to start a fucking alpaca farm! I’m going to be pioneering in a new field that’s going to change lives.” Bellamy stares at her for moment, and the waitress places a coffee down in front of her. Clarke breaks in her glaring to smile her thanks.

“I’m so…you could have told me you had an interview,” Bellamy says, in the end, and the anger has kind of left his voice, leaving him sounding hurt and confused. “I thought we were…” Clarke smiles, sad.

“Best friends?” she asks. And he looks at her, saying nothing. “It’s not the same since I came back, and I think we both know it.” He looks away.

“I kept you at arm's length because I didn’t want you to run off with part of me again,” Bellamy admits. “But I thought we were, I don’t know, doing better than this.” Clarke’s smile falls a little more.

“You never really forgave me and I never forgave myself,” Clarke says quietly. “And we’ve been pretending it doesn’t matter, but it does.” Bellamy looks back to her, and it’s raw again, and she can read him like an open book; an open wound.

“It’s not just you I didn’t forgive,” he admits. “I didn’t forgive myself for not being enough.” Clarke moves to reach out her hand to him, but stops, pulling herself back.

“I’m so sorry. I messed it all up, and I regret it, but I can’t change it,” she confesses. “But I guess it’s part of the reason I need to go, too. Because we’re not helping each other out here, really, are we?” Bellamy sighs heavily.

“I don’t know, Clarke. All I know is that my life is better with you in it, however that is,” Bellamy admits, and she wants to curl into his side like she used to and just _rest_.

“Well, I’m not disappearing this time,” Clarke says, with a forced smile. “I’m just moving away. I’ll still exist.”

“So you are going then? You’ve already decided?” Bellamy asks her. And Clarke swallows thickly again.

“I… I don’t know,” she finishes. Because she’s less sure than ever. “It’s a lot to leave behind. But it’s a lot to look forward to as well.”

“You will tell me, won’t you? When you decide? I want… I want to be better at being friends with you again. Not just the surface stuff. The truth. Talking,” Bellamy says. Clarke smiles and ignores the pain in her chest.

“Of course,” she promises, picking up the menu. “I’ll even let you throw me a goodbye part this time, if I go.” Bellamy huffs a laugh and picks up his menu too.

 

It’s not until later that Clarke realises he said ‘trying to move on’, and wonders if it’s got any kind of significance. She also realises she basically told him she was still in love with him. When Monty and Jasper arrive to take her on a best bars crawl that night, she goes and drinks happily and heavily. But she doesn’t feel better.

  
  


Raven invites Clarke to lunch on Thursday, and Clarke thinks it’s innocent, but when she gets there, she sees that Clarke has invited Wick, one of the engineers, and Sinclair, her boss. It’s a fucking ambush. But she still can’t hold back a smile as she sits down to join them. Because it’s so classically Raven.

“And here was me thinking it was a girl’s lunch,” Clarke teases as she sits down.

“I’m fine with being one of the girls if you want to talk lingerie,” Wick says and Raven hits him.

“I swear to god, we’re meant to be wooing her, not getting you up on sexual harrassment charges,” Raven hisses, and Clarke laughs.

“And you don’t think your hands a full enough with these two?” Clarke asks Sinclair. He considers her for a moment.

“Raven tells me you’re interested in biomechatronics, and while the lab in Vancouver is doing a lot of the cutting edge research, the lab here does more of the practical applications and develops prototypes,” Sinclair says, and Clarke knew this was the pitch, but her stomach still clenched at the words ‘practical applications’. It was basically code for ‘human trials’. “And I think you could do some really important things here, if you wanted to. Not that you couldn’t in Vancouver, but here you’d get to both research and develop in a really practical way.”

“And we’d be your team,” Wick cuts in. “Reyes and I have been trying to move more into biomechatronic prosthetics for the past couple of years, and she’s says you’ve made some flippant comments that have helped a lot.” Clarke raises her eyebrows at Raven.

“Well you did,” she admits, defensive. “Look, all I’m saying is, you want to be on the cutting edge and have great opportunities? You don’t have to go to Vancouver to do it.” Clarke looks at Sinclair again.

“So is this you formally offering me a job, or is Raven just putting you up to this?” Clarke asks. Sinclair smiles.

“We’ve been considering building a more biomechatronic focussed team for a while now, and Vancouver said you were fantastic, and Raven recommended you. There’s a new position being invented, and it’s yours if you want it,” Sinclair tells her. Clarke hums thoughtfully.

“It’s definitely something to consider,” Clarke says.

“Take your time making a decision. I know you have to let Vancouver know by Saturday, but it’s probably going to be about a month before the new lab is ready to go here,” Sinclair adds. And Clarke smiles. She likes him, and she thinks she’d work well with Raven and Wick. But Vancouver was never just about the job.

 

As they’re leaving lunch, Raven pulls her aside.

“So, what do you think?” she asks. Clarke laughs.

“What happened to take your time?” she teases. Raven rolls her eyes.

“Yeah, no. You want a great opportunity? It’s right here. No relocation necessary,” Raven says, and it’s a challenge.

“You know it’s not just about the opportunity,” Clarke says, tired. Raven shakes her head.

“I know. I’ve just been hoping it was. No one wants you to go again, Clarke,” she says. Clarke smiles.

“I still haven’t decided,” Clarke tells her. “There are lots of pros and cons to consider.”

“Yeah, and I imagine there’s one starting with B in both columns,” Raven says sarcastically. “When you’re ready to woman up, let me know.” And then she’s gone, yelling at Wick for not waiting for her, and then yelling when he tries to help her when she’s a little unstable. It’s another amazing opportunity, but she’d be more involved in human trials. Not that biomechatronics was going to kill anyone. But still. Human trials. And, as always, Bellamy Blake.

  
  


 

 

Octavia’s waiting for her when she gets home that night.

“Lincoln says I have to be nicer to you because your heart is involved here too,” Octavia says, instead of saying hello. _Blakes_ , Clarke thinks fondly. “But I meant it when I said I wouldn’t forgive you if you broke his heart again and you need to know that.”

“Tav, you said I could leave again, I just couldn’t screw him and Echo up,” Clarke tries to defend herself, but she’s tired and doesn’t want to be having this conversation. Octavia clicks her tongue disgustedly.

“I know you told him watching him happy was breaking your heart,” Octavia accused her. “And this is exactly the shit I was talking about. You’re messing him up all over again and then leaving.” Clarke shakes her head.

“Yeah, because Bellamy’s perfect and he’s done everything right in our friendship,” she snaps. “I get it, he’s your brother and you love him, and lord knows I love him too. But we aren’t perfect people and I’m trying to do the right thing. Alright? I want him to be happy but I can’t watch it. How would you like to watch Lincoln in love with someone else? I get it, I messed up, but I had a fucking mental breakdown. I wasn’t playing games or leading him on. I had a fucking crisis and I’m sorry if my coping methods aren’t up to scratch but I was doing, and am doing, the best I fucking can.” Clarke’s breath is heaving when she finishes, and Octavia is smiling, almost approving, but still dangerous.

“Well. I’m glad we had this chat,” Octavia says. And Clarke’s not exactly sure which part she’s glad about. “Thanks for being honest.” Clarke stares blankly for a moment.

“You’re welcome?” she says, but it is definitely a question.

“Lincoln was right, you’re a human disaster too,” Octavia says. “But seriously, try not to screw up each other more than you already have, alright?” And that Clarke can agree to, and Octavia nods as she leaves. She wonders if there are any more ambushes waiting for her.

  
  


 

What it comes down to, Clarke thinks, is that Vancouver was two things: an amazing opportunity and a way to escape Bellamy. But it doesn’t just affect Bellamy. It’s her life, it’s her friends, her apartment. Mountain Dew with caffeine and count chocula cereal. It’s moving to another country. And she has the opportunity right here. There are other ways to break her heart less. No more Wednesday lunches, and maybe a more sporadic family night attendance. And… she wants to see it, the lives she changes of the people she’s helped. She wants to watch them do things they never thought they would be able to do again, see their faces light up. She wants that. Because it’s not human trials, it’s something more. And she needs that in her life. But… watching the guy she’s stupid in love with fall in love and get married and be a father? She wants to believe she’s going to fall out of love with him at some point. But she’s not that optimistic.

  
  


Clarke hands in her formal notice on Friday. Two weeks. Everyone is sad and makes her promise to have drinks with them, and she is going to miss some of these people. But they’ve always been work friends, not friend-friends, and she can’t imagine keeping in touch with any of them through any other medium than facebook… if that. Then she calls a family meeting with a mass text at the diner that night to tell them she’s made a decision. Because they deserve to know that she’s decided, and not hear it through the grapevine. She’s stupid nervous and she doesn’t know why. There’s part of her that thinks that this shouldn’t be that big of a deal, but it is. It’s a big deal, because she’s genuinely excited about this, and she really hopes they’re going to be too.

  
  


She gets there late, because she got held up at work running Jackson through her latest notes. And she hates the collective sigh of relief that seems to run through the group, as if they were all waiting to hear she was already gone. But she slides into a booth, next to Lincoln and opposite Bellamy, the rest of the group crammed into the U-shape between them.

“So, what have you decided?” Raven asks, and Clarke takes a deep breath.

“She quit her job,” Monty cuts in. All heads turn to him almost in unison, and he shrugs. “Twitter,” he says, like it’s an explanation. “I follow one of the researchers on her team.” All heads turn back to Clarke.

“Yeah, I did,” Clarke admits. “After everything that happened… I don’t want to work with drug trials anymore. And it turns out that I’m in hot demand for biomechatronic research and development.”

“So you’re going then?” Bellamy asks, accuses her. Clarke notices for the first time that Echo isn’t beside him, and she wonders where she is. She had a speech planned for how she was going to say things, explain herself, and they were kind of throwing her off.

“Uh, yeah, to Vancouver for-,” she began, but was cut off by Bellamy standing up and walking out. She watched him go and vaguely finished her sentence, even though she knew he couldn’t hear it. “A month.” Clarke tries to finish her announcement, but her eyes are still on the door Bellamy just walked out of. “And then I’m back working with Raven and Wick to develop prototypes for prosthetics and braces with neural interfacing.” For all that she’s really excited about this, her voice sounds empty, even to her.

“You really could have worded that better,” Octavia says from the other side of Lincoln. “Dumbass probably thinks you’re leaving now.” Clarke sighed.

“I had a speech,” she defends herself. “You guys kept interrupting.”

“And what? You were going to say how much you loved us and couldn’t possibly leave?” Raven asks, sarcastic. “We did not need the sap, Griffin. And you kind of buried the lead there. You’re staying.” Lincoln shoves her and she finds herself out of the booth and stumbling to stand. She looks at him in shock.

“Go after him, idiot,” Lincoln says.

“Mom and Dad are finally going to get together,” Jasper says, delighted, and Monty shoves him. Clarke’s still staring at them.

“We aren’t going to… But I should… I should go talk to him, right?” Clarke asks, but she’s kind of asking Octavia, who rolls her eyes.

“Go,” she urges, and then she’s moving towards to the door and chasing after him.

  
  
  


Clarke knows exactly where to find him. There’s no sign of him when she exits the diner, but she knows where to find him on instinct. She hasn’t been there in a long time, and it takes longer than she expects to get to lookout. But she can see the shape of him on top of the concrete tower when she pulls into the lot below. They’d spent a lot of time there together, reminiscing about their dead parents, and talking about the future. Bellamy liked to get high, taller than the things around him when he was upset, and he liked the cold of the wind. And there he was, like she knew he would be. The concrete stairs wrapped around the tower weren’t the most fun to climb in the dark, but she made her way up slowly, carefully, and she knew he could hear her coming. But he didn’t say anything. Just waited for her at the top of the tower.

“So, you kind of just ran out of there,” Clarke says when she makes it to the top. He shakes his head, but doesn’t turn around. She positions herself on the opposite side of the small circle, leaning against the railing.

“Yeah, well, I didn’t really want to hear about how excited you were about your new life in Vancouver,” he bites out, bitter. She sighs.

“We really do make terrible friends, don’t we?” Clarke asks. “We can’t just be happy for each other because we’re selfish pricks.” Bellamy scoffs and turns around at that.

“You started it, you know. When you left. I get why you did it… but you left and I thought things were about to…,” Bellamy trails off. And Clarke nods.

“They were,” she agrees. “And then I had an emotional and psychological break down and needed to bail. It wasn’t fair on you, but I needed to do it for me.” Bellamy nods, folding his arms across his chest.

“I get that now. It just… and now you’re going again and I can’t… I know you’re saying it’s different, but the end result is still the same for me. You’re gone,” Bellamy says, and he sounds a little broken. Clarke smiles, sad and honest.

“I get that now too. Our friends have made it very clear. But you did kind of miss my announcement,” Clarke tells him. He stares at her like she’s crazy.

“I caught the gist,” he replies. “And I really don’t want to-.”

“I’m not moving to Vancouver, asshole,” Clarke cuts him off. “I’m going for a month to train and then I’m coming back to start a prototype lab with Raven and Wick.” He stares at her blankly, and Clarke’s not sure where to look, chewing her lip, because surely he has a _reaction_  to this. But he doesn’t.

“So… I’m really excited about it, obviously, because I’ll be working with individuals when we develop the prototypes to meet specific needs and-,” Clarke begins to ramble, because she’s not sure what else to do to fill in the moment, and Bellamy crosses, dodging the info pillar in the middle, places a hand on her cheek, into her hair, and another on her waist, and pulls her in close and kisses her. It’s hard and bruising and probably trying to communicate a lot of things, and Clarke lets herself fall into it for a moment, pressing up against him, kissing him back. And then, she remembers Echo. She places her palms on his chest and pushes him back, hard. He stumbles backwards until he hits the info pillar, and he looks shocked, and hurt, and confused.

“I’m not going to be the other woman again, Bellamy,” Clarke says archly, cold.

“I broke up with Echo,” Bellamy says, still leaning against the pillar. “Or, she kind of broke up with me. It was… mutual, I guess.” Clarke’s really not sure what to do with that information.

“When?” she asks, because it seems like a normal question to ask.

“On Wednesday. When I was angry with you and she knew we had history and then it wasn’t really just history and we both just kind of agreed that it wasn’t going to work,” Bellamy explains. Clarke sighs.

“We’re really shitty friends,” Clarke says. “You should have told me, I would have… I don’t know, something. Organised pizza and beer or something.” Bellamy shakes his head in disbelief.

“Was that… I mean, was your only objection to me kissing you about being the other woman? Or could I do that again and we can discuss the quality of our friendship later?” Bellamy asks, dryly. And Clarke snorts a laugh, because he’s right. They could be making out right now.

“Uh. Pretty much. But I do have some follow up questions,” Clarke says, and Bellamy walks toward her slowly, smiling.

“Follow up questions?” he asks. “Like what?”

“Like, is this a one time make out session at the look out? Or only on special occasions?” Clarke begins, and Bellamy leans in to kiss her jawline, just below her ear.

“I was thinking about making it a regular thing,” he murmurs. “You know, like a relationship.” Clarke hums, partially because she’s trying to think about logical things they should talk about before she drags him back to their cars and fucks him in a backseat.

“Like friends with benefits or seeing what happens or I want to have your babies?” Clarke asks, and Bellamy chuckles lightly into her skin as he kisses towards her mouth. His hand has started tracing her side.

“Definitely the last one,” he tells her. “Or no deal.” Clarke grins, broad.

“Okay,” she agrees. “Definitely the last one.” And then he’s kissing her again, and she’s pretty sure she’s found what she wants to do for the rest of her life, and he seems to agree.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> So, I spent way too long rewriting and reordering this fic and the end I was just like POST IT and then maybe your sanity will come back. You can always take it down and edit it later. 
> 
> But I really like how I've written Clarke in this one, and that's a personal thing and not something you have to agree with. 
> 
> And you can find me on [tumblr](http://wordy-anansi.tumblr.com) and request your own weirdly long fic too.


End file.
